deliberation

Hi! 

It seems that I only write about the "bad" things in my life here.  Those aren't the only goings-on to be sure. But, I don't want to make today an exception so here goes.  

     I was trying to organize my side of the office.  It's kind of ridiculous how wrecked it is.  Ignore one half of one room long enough and it begins to take on a life  of its own.  The office is a tiny square attached to another tiny rectangle. The rectangle apparently belonged to the front porch at some point in it's lifetime.  The square was a walk in closet.  Then one day they were joined by taking down one wall and adding three more.  We have two high rise, not wide, desks and rolling chairs, one set in the square and one set in the rectangle.  

I missed the triathlon. It turned out to be a bad weekend.  Let's just say I'm no longer pregnant-- with possible twins-- as of September 28.  I got my race number, swim cap, and had rented my wetsuit but the doctor said "no" because I was in the middle of miscarrying.  But, trying to get pregnant is part of the fun of becoming pregnant.  Let's say I'm ready to have fun again.  

So, I finally get excited and committed about the triathlon this coming Saturday and call my mom.   While I'm on the phone with her I'm telling her my most recent home pregnancy test said, "nope, not pregnant."  I explained to her how annoyed I am with that because I'm positive I'm pregnant.  She asked me how many days ago I took the test because I had just missed a specific time of the month.  I tell her 4 days ago and she makes me take another test while I was on the phone with her.  So, yeah.  I'm pregnant.   I will be about 6 weeks pregnant at the triathlon.  I'm nearly speechless.  At the same time, I want to tell the entire universe I'm pregnant and introduce myself to new people as the pregnant lady.  I am a dork.  

are in Brazil, look at this .

     My husband and I decided that now would be a fine time to try to get me pregnant.  Pregnancy would mean I couldn't take any of the medications I normally take.  So, I weaned myself off my arthritis and nerve pain medications.  It's been a good thing and I'm sure my liver appreciates it.   It's kind of nice to know just how bad all of it can get without the usual relief of a pill.  The pain isn't as bad as it used to be or I've gotten used to it-- hard to say really.  Frankly, I feel better in general.  The exercise I've been getting due to training for the See Jane Tri triathlon is part of it, even if it aggravated the arthritis.  However, training makes my arthritis feel better later, especially swimming. 

     Right, so about a month and a half ago, I decided to train for the See Jane Tri triathlon that occurs on Saturday, September 29.  You know, everyone who does these things does so for their own reasons, mine is to prove to myself that I am not some sort of invalid.  At 19, I was a passenger in a car that hit three trees.  It broke my back, 13 ribs, my collarbone, and my foot in seven places as well as damaging my knees and causing severe whiplash.   A few years later another car accident broke my hand in two places and 3 years ago I had back surgery.   Arthritis pain and nerve pain is nothing new.  It just added to the migraines.  It doesn't do anything except make me grumpy or tired on occasion. 

    Fast forward past 6 surgeries to now, I had no idea what I was in store for me when I started this whole "I want to do a triathlon" business.   Like the silly person I am, I have been nervous about doing the tri since I made my decision to do it.  This anxiety has, in turn, kept me from signing up until the week before it happens.  I am equal parts scared and confident.   I have never done a triathlon or anything athletic since um... well never.   All the "athletic" things I did were for fun like skateboarding-- word to my LSSP homies (that's Low Skill Skate Posse for y'all not in the know)-- running was usually because I was running from someone, and a bicycle was just to get from one place to the other faster than walking and running.   Swimming is a little different, but only for the last 4 years. 

     Look, I don't care about winning or placing; I just want to finish. Right now, my times stink a little, but then again I have no adrenaline coursing through the old circulatory system like I surely will on race day.  It'll be fun and I'm very excited.

The See Jane Tri is put on by the See Jane Run stores and gives a portion of the entry fees to the Breast Cancer Fund. 

I'll be doing a Swim-A-Mile October 7 at Mills College (my Alma Mater) in Oakland, CA.  All proceeds go to benefit the Women's Cancer Resource Center of Oakland,CA. 

At the end of October I'm considering doing a 5K or 10K with some friends, we'll see.  

So, there are these particular trucks?  These trucks, they are not hauling goods per se.  The only thing they are hauling around is an advertisement.  I'm sure there is someone out there thinking, "Wow! Now, that is a GREAT IDEA sign me up!"  No, it's a bad idea.  These trucks aren't hauling anything else.  It's not like an advert on the side of a bus or trailer for an 18 wheeler where the vehicle is being utilized to it's fullest.  These trucks just haul around adverts all day.  There is no purpose here except wasting gas and ruining the environment more every day.  Thank YOU BlimpyBoards and all companies like them.  I hate to give them an accidental plug, but there it is.   Know that this company is helping to put emissions into the air makes me feel happy that San Francisco, the City of Brown Fog, and the surrounding Bay Area are going to look just that much more of a fraction worse. The previous sentence was dripping of sarcasm, in case anyone was wondering.  

"You are Leah"  Yes, yes I am.   There are alot of reassurances that I am me around, just in case I forget.  Never forget!  Alas, the Talking Heads will always get it right.  Sometimes, you just wake up and you say to yourself this is not my beautiful house...  While wondering what a  "Flying Brittany" was because it was written bubbly and enthusiatically on a car as well as "Fly across the poo!",  you slowly realize that maybe the contact in your eye was getting a little dry and these cryptic messages on the mom-van window was meaningful to a high school swim team.  Although, "Fly across the poo!" is way funnier.   To end my, um, bloggy thing, I will tell you a philosophy joke: